We all have those people who give us toxic energy and pain. People we choose to stay for nonetheless. People we just can’t shake out of our systems. We choose to ignore the negative because we know them, we love them, they’re our friends, our family, they’re good… until they’re not.
1. People Change
It is very very possible, that the person you loved, is no longer the person you’re staying for. It is not their fault that they’ve changed. Our lives are filled with experiences and circumstances that change who we are. You may still be the same, but maybe they’re not. If the person they’ve become is now someone who constantly hurts you, just thank them and let go.
2. Let Their Actions Speak For Them
You may be hung up on who you think they are, you see the best in them, only the good; to justify why you stay despite an unhealthy relationship. The question is, do their actions still match the description you’ve built in your head about who they are. Do they still treat you like the person you’ve always known? Or is this person no longer the version you have in your head; the kinder, the more compassionate version. To simply put; your hopeful version.
3. You Need to Protect Yourself
It’s okay to love and love so deeply. But when your mental health and inner peace is wrecked because you choose to let toxic people stay in your life, love isn’t enough. As much as it hurts to cut ties, you need to protect yourself, protect your health, protect your heart, and your peace. I promise that your future self will thank you for it.
4. It Is Not Giving Up, It’s Choosing Yourself
We sometimes guilt ourselves when we are on the other side of a toxic relationship. “I can’t give up on him, especially now that he’s not at his best.” There is a difference between giving up and choosing yourself. Choosing yourself doesn’t make you a bad person. Get this embedded in your head; they are their own person. They are old enough to carry their burdens, there is no need for you to become collateral damage.
5. There is Healing in Acceptance
Accepting the fact that they’re no longer the people we believed them to be, distancing ourself from the pain and negative energy they bring, will lead to healing. Accept the fact that you are not the one responsible for making them better people, only they can do that. Accept the fact that they were not good for you. Accept that it is better to stay away than to stay. Accept the fact that you have already played your role in their lives, and it’s time to let go. Eventually, it will all feel right.